Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose
will begin to itch, and you will have to go to the
bathroom.
Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you will never get a busy
signal, and someone will always answer.
Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a
flat tire.
Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
will ring.
Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to
be seen with.
Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
Law of the Theater
At any type of event, the people whose seats are
furthest from the aisle will arrive last.
Hot Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until
the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will
have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face
down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet / rug.
Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
will stop making it.
Doctor Law
If you do not feel well and you make an appointment to go see
the doctor, by the time you get there you will feel
better. If you do not make the appointment
you will stay sick.